reblogged 2 days ago
26 Jul 2014 134,984 notes

blanketburritoofshame:

The moment when Sam legit questioned if he’d gotten out of hell.

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reblogged 2 days ago
26 Jul 2014 843 notes
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reblogged 2 days ago
26 Jul 2014 84,388 notes

littledisneyhearts:

What I really like about Pascal is that he COULD leave the tower with out her…. but no. He stays and wears dresses, allows her to pull his tail to make his mouth move, stretch with her, bake with her, paint with her, helps her with cleaning, and so much more. 

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answered 2 days ago
26 Jul 2014 0 notes
Anonymous said:
Once a sorceress placed a spell on once certain London-based detective and his roommate: that what they were thinking of at that moment would be their greatest joy of joys and the love of their life. Sadly they did not think of the same thing, and the detective fell in love with adventures while the roommate fell for the detective. Then the roommate became quite angry at the detective, flounced around in painful *ahem* adventurous sweaters, and the detective fell for him, then they did the do ;)

I’m not even a full Johnlock shipper and this is fabulous 

Feel free to chat off anon :) x

reblogged 2 days ago
26 Jul 2014 827,527 notes
FILED UNDER:
  #ask me    #please    #I never get any but ah well    #questions  

Personal
1-How are you?2-Post a picture of yourself.3-Do you ever wish you were someone else?4-What is your entire name?5-How old are you?6-Age you get mistaken for:7-Your zodiac/horoscope and if you think it fits your personality:8-What did you do on your last birthday?9-What is one thing you would like to accomplish before your next birthday?10-What is your hair color?11-Have you ever dyed your hair?12-What is your eye color?13-If you could change your eye color, would you?14-Do you wear contacts/glasses?18-Do you have any tattoos?19-Do you have any piercings?20-Left or right handed?21-What’s your sexual orientation?22-Do you drink?23-Do you smoke?24-Do you have any pets?25-Where do you work?26-Something you are working on right now:27-Do you have any “rules” about food?28-Where are you from?29-What would you say is your best quality?30-What do you think you’re really good at?31-What do you think you’re really bad at?33-Are you a bad person?34-Are you nice to everyone?36-Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?37-What is your ideal bed? Why?38-Did you wake up cranky?39-Do you sleep with a stuffed toy?40-What do you think about the most?42-What you want to be when you “get older”?43-What are your career goals?44-What is your ideal career?45-Is your life anything like it was two years ago?46-Do you replay things that have happened in your head?47-Have you ever had an imaginary friend?48-Say 10 facts about your room:49-Do you have any phobias?50-Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist?51-Are you allergic to anything? If so, what?52-Ever broken any bones?53-Ever come close to death?60-Do you have a facebook? If so, would you add the person who sent you this?61-Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?62-Describe yourself in one word/sentence:63-A quote you try to live by:64-A famous person you’ve been compared to:65-Weird things you do when you’re alone:66-Something you do without realising:68-Someone you’d like to be for a day and why:69-Leave me a compliment:
Favorites
70-What is your favorite thing to do?71-What’s your favorite color?73-What’s your favorite movie?74-What are your favorite books?75-What is your favorite quote and why?76-What is your favorite word?77-What is your least favorite word?78-What is your favorite type of food?79-You favorite ice cream?80-What’s your favorite animal?81-Dogs or cats?82-Describe your favourite texture:83-What is your favorite flower?84-What’s your favourite scent? And on the opposite sex?85-What is your favorite season?86-What are the top five places you wish you could go before you die?87-What are four things you can’t live without and why?88-Which mythological creature are you most like? Why?89-What’s your favorite television show?90-Favorite place to shop at?91-Say 2 facts about your favorite things:
Friends
106-Would you ever smile at a stranger?107-Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?108-Who is someone you never tire of?109-Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?110-Who is your most loyal friend?111-Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?112-If your best friend died, what would you do?113-Something you’ve lied about.114-Have you ever felt replaced?115-Say 5 facts about your bestfriend(s):
Relationships
116-The last person you hugged?117-Story of your first kiss?118-Do you like kissing in public?119-Have you ever kissed someone older than you?120-You have a preference for boys or girls?121-Is the male or female body closest to perfection?127-What is the first thing you noticed in someone?128-Are looks important in a relationship?129-What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?130-What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?131-Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?133-Do you have a crush on anyone?134-A description of the girl/boy you like:135-Say 1 fact about the person you like:136-If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?137-When was the last time you told someone you loved them?138-Do you think someone has feelings for you?139-Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?140-Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?141-Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?142-Anyone you’re giving up on?143-Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?144-Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?145-Have you ever liked one of your best friends?146-Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?147-Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?148-Is there someone you will never forget?153-What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?154-What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?157-Are you in love?158-Are you in a relationship?159-If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?160-Are relationships ever worth it?161-Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?162-Can you commit to one person?163-Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?164-Do you ever want to get married?165-Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?167-Do you get jealous easily?168-The last time you felt jealous, and why?169-What is your definition of cheating?170-Have you ever been cheated on?171-Do you forgive betrayal?172-Have you ever cheated on someone?173-Why did your last relationship fail?174-Things you want to say to an ex:175-A description of the person you dislike the most:176-If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?177-How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?178-How long was your longest relationship?179-You’ll love me if…180-Share a relationship story:
Music, movies and books
181-How often do you listen to music?182-What kind of music you like?183-Do you like to dance?185-Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?186-Share a song that takes you to a certain memory in the past:187-A song that’s been stuck in your head:188-Put your music player on shuffle and write the first ten songs that play:189-A book you want to read/have recently read:190-Describe your dream library:191-Last movie you just watched:192-Do you like watching what type of movies?
Situations and crazy things
193-You’re in a tattoo parlor about to get inked. What are you getting done?194-What’s something you can see yourself going to jail for?195-If you could be any character, from any literary work, who would you choose to be?196-You’re given $10,000…under one condition: you cannot keep the money for yourself. Who would you give it to?197-If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?198-If you were an element on the Periodic Table, which would you be and why?199-If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?200-You’re an Action Movie Hero. What’s your weapon of choice and the line you scream when defeating your arch enemy?201-If you could design an amusement park ride, what would it be like?202-What is the first curse word that comes to mind?203-What the last party you went to was… and when the next will be…204-Halloween costume idea?205-How you’d spend ten thousand bucks?206-Press ctrl+v and post:207-Would you rather be stranded on a desert island with someone you love for ten years or someone you hate for a month? Explain why.208-5 things within touching distance:209-A drunken story:210-What are you supposed to be doing right now?211-Currently wanting to see anyone?212-Why you follow me?213-If you met me what would you do?214-Leave me a ridiculous question:215-Leave me a cute message:
Personal

1-How are you?
2-Post a picture of yourself.
3-Do you ever wish you were someone else?
4-What is your entire name?
5-How old are you?
6-Age you get mistaken for:
7-Your zodiac/horoscope and if you think it fits your personality:
8-What did you do on your last birthday?
9-What is one thing you would like to accomplish before your next birthday?
10-What is your hair color?
11-Have you ever dyed your hair?
12-What is your eye color?
13-If you could change your eye color, would you?
14-Do you wear contacts/glasses?
18-Do you have any tattoos?
19-Do you have any piercings?
20-Left or right handed?
21-What’s your sexual orientation?
22-Do you drink?
23-Do you smoke?
24-Do you have any pets?
25-Where do you work?
26-Something you are working on right now:
27-Do you have any “rules” about food?
28-Where are you from?
29-What would you say is your best quality?
30-What do you think you’re really good at?
31-What do you think you’re really bad at?
33-Are you a bad person?
34-Are you nice to everyone?
36-Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?
37-What is your ideal bed? Why?
38-Did you wake up cranky?
39-Do you sleep with a stuffed toy?
40-What do you think about the most?
42-What you want to be when you “get older”?
43-What are your career goals?
44-What is your ideal career?
45-Is your life anything like it was two years ago?
46-Do you replay things that have happened in your head?
47-Have you ever had an imaginary friend?
48-Say 10 facts about your room:
49-Do you have any phobias?
50-Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist?
51-Are you allergic to anything? If so, what?
52-Ever broken any bones?
53-Ever come close to death?
60-Do you have a facebook? If so, would you add the person who sent you this?
61-Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?
62-Describe yourself in one word/sentence:
63-A quote you try to live by:
64-A famous person you’ve been compared to:
65-Weird things you do when you’re alone:
66-Something you do without realising:
68-Someone you’d like to be for a day and why:
69-Leave me a compliment:

Favorites

70-What is your favorite thing to do?
71-What’s your favorite color?
73-What’s your favorite movie?
74-What are your favorite books?
75-What is your favorite quote and why?
76-What is your favorite word?
77-What is your least favorite word?
78-What is your favorite type of food?
79-You favorite ice cream?
80-What’s your favorite animal?
81-Dogs or cats?
82-Describe your favourite texture:
83-What is your favorite flower?
84-What’s your favourite scent? And on the opposite sex?
85-What is your favorite season?
86-What are the top five places you wish you could go before you die?
87-What are four things you can’t live without and why?
88-Which mythological creature are you most like? Why?
89-What’s your favorite television show?
90-Favorite place to shop at?
91-Say 2 facts about your favorite things:

Friends

106-Would you ever smile at a stranger?
107-Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?
108-Who is someone you never tire of?
109-Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?
110-Who is your most loyal friend?
111-Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?
112-If your best friend died, what would you do?
113-Something you’ve lied about.
114-Have you ever felt replaced?
115-Say 5 facts about your bestfriend(s):

Relationships

116-The last person you hugged?
117-Story of your first kiss?
118-Do you like kissing in public?
119-Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
120-You have a preference for boys or girls?
121-Is the male or female body closest to perfection?
127-What is the first thing you noticed in someone?
128-Are looks important in a relationship?
129-What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?
130-What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?
131-Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?
133-Do you have a crush on anyone?
134-A description of the girl/boy you like:
135-Say 1 fact about the person you like:
136-If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?
137-When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
138-Do you think someone has feelings for you?
139-Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
140-Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?
141-Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
142-Anyone you’re giving up on?
143-Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?
144-Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?
145-Have you ever liked one of your best friends?
146-Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?
147-Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?
148-Is there someone you will never forget?
153-What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?
154-What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?
157-Are you in love?
158-Are you in a relationship?
159-If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?
160-Are relationships ever worth it?
161-Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?
162-Can you commit to one person?
163-Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?
164-Do you ever want to get married?
165-Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?
167-Do you get jealous easily?
168-The last time you felt jealous, and why?
169-What is your definition of cheating?
170-Have you ever been cheated on?
171-Do you forgive betrayal?
172-Have you ever cheated on someone?
173-Why did your last relationship fail?
174-Things you want to say to an ex:
175-A description of the person you dislike the most:
176-If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?
177-How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?
178-How long was your longest relationship?
179-You’ll love me if…
180-Share a relationship story:

Music, movies and books

181-How often do you listen to music?
182-What kind of music you like?
183-Do you like to dance?
185-Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?
186-Share a song that takes you to a certain memory in the past:
187-A song that’s been stuck in your head:
188-Put your music player on shuffle and write the first ten songs that play:
189-A book you want to read/have recently read:
190-Describe your dream library:
191-Last movie you just watched:
192-Do you like watching what type of movies?

Situations and crazy things

193-You’re in a tattoo parlor about to get inked. What are you getting done?
194-What’s something you can see yourself going to jail for?
195-If you could be any character, from any literary work, who would you choose to be?
196-You’re given $10,000…under one condition: you cannot keep the money for yourself. Who would you give it to?
197-If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?
198-If you were an element on the Periodic Table, which would you be and why?
199-If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?
200-You’re an Action Movie Hero. What’s your weapon of choice and the line you scream when defeating your arch enemy?
201-If you could design an amusement park ride, what would it be like?
202-What is the first curse word that comes to mind?
203-What the last party you went to was… and when the next will be…
204-Halloween costume idea?
205-How you’d spend ten thousand bucks?
206-Press ctrl+v and post:
207-Would you rather be stranded on a desert island with someone you love for ten years or someone you hate for a month? Explain why.
208-5 things within touching distance:
209-A drunken story:
210-What are you supposed to be doing right now?
211-Currently wanting to see anyone?
212-Why you follow me?
213-If you met me what would you do?
214-Leave me a ridiculous question:
215-Leave me a cute message:

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reblogged 2 days ago
26 Jul 2014 40,515 notes
like
answered 2 days ago
26 Jul 2014 61,781 notes
Anonymous said:
Calm down, it isn't that big of a deal that people don't know women don't pee out of their vag, sheesh.

evalaubach:

ratherclever:

greenekangaroo:

deducecanoe:

vixyish:

afadingoctober:

bam-monsterhospital:

afadingoctober:

Look, it’s our friendly male-privileged anon come to tell me I’m being all womanly hysterical.

I’m assuming you’re a guy. If you’re a girl, and this doesn’t piss you off, I’m a little concerned, honestly.

The fact is that it is a big deal, and you just earned yourself a free lecture on why so siddown and shaddup.

Cracked ran a rather diverting article today on

"6 Insane Sex Myths People Used to Teach as Facts"

including things like how westerners apparently thought that Chinese women who immigrated had sideways vaginas and that doctors attributed any number of problems to the fact that they believed women’s uteri could detach themselves when the woman was not pregnant and scamper around the woman’s innards like some sort of wayward jellyfish blob.
Hilarious, right? Can’t believe people used to think that! Oh, how naive they all were!
Which brings us to women-pee-out-of-their-vagina.
People back then kind of have an excuse for stupid notions, because a lot of the time there wasn’t the technology or research or scientific community to call them out on it in order to spread information that was actually factual.
We do not have that excuse today.
Yes, I heard that, greyface in sunglasses in the second row.
"well we don’t teach ridiculous stuff like that!"
Spoiler Alert: We totally do.
Stuff like the complete erasure of parts of female anatomy, publicly taught and widespread misinformation about others and the fact that I learned more about my own body with 15 minutes on Wikipedia than I did in two mandatory Health classes and a Medical Anatomy class.
Send your arguments at me, believe me, they don’t hold water.
"The clitoris doesn’t have anything to do with reproduction!"
Sex Ed covers more than just reproduction. Every time they sent me home with a little paper for your parent/guardian to sign, they said they would be talking about anatomy as well as reproduction.
"Well, female anatomy is a lot more complicated…"
Doesn’t that mean they should spend more time covering it rather than skipping over the parts they deem ‘unnecessary’? Even in my Medical Anatomy class when we had the diagrams to label, despite there being a clitoris in the diagram, there wasn’t a lil line to write down what it was.
"Maybe they didn’t think it was appropriate to talk about for high school."
Female pleasure.
So lewd.
How dare they.
Get the pitchforks and burn the witch.
"They don’t talk about male pleasure either!"
Bitch, please.
I heard aaaaalll about what happens when a dude is aroused and orgasms with the erections and ejaculations and all that nonsense.
Girl orgasms are apparently not a thing. And, depending on the class, neither was female arousal.
(Which I find decidedly disturbing, as a side note.)
"Female orgasms aren’t a part of reproduction either."
Maybe not.
BUT IT IS A SIMPLE PHYSICAL REACTION THAT SHOULD BE TAUGHT IF ONLY FOR SCIENTIFIC AND MEDICAL ACCURACY.
"Fine. The clitoris is controversial. That hardly covers the entire spectrum of female sexuality having misinformation and crap."
Apparently you didn’t read the part up above about how I did not learn what happens when a woman is aroused or orgasms in three years of classes that are supposed to teach me about this thing.
"If it took you 15 minutes on Wikipedia to figure stuff out, why are you so mad? That’s hardly a waste of time."
Because I deserve to know about my own body, and when schools teach Sex Ed in any form, they are taking on the responsibility of teaching me that.
And yet, I learned absolutely nothing useful.
That’s a problem.
"Okay, okay. They don’t talk about female sexual reactions, and that’s kinda sexist."
You know what else is kinda sexist? Telling men that sex is great and women that it’s going to hurt and suck and also you’ll get pregnant and die.
What am I talking about, you say?
The hymen. You know, the thing that covers a woman’s vaginal opening and breaks and there’s blood and that’s how you can tell if your girlfriend is lying about whether or not you’re her first.
Well guess what, buddy-boy, you dumped that girl for no reason because that’s not actually what a hymen is and you’re also a jerk.
The hymen is a flexible membrane that partially covers the vaginal opening (usually in a sort of crescent shape when they are but a wee lass) and did you notice the word up there? ‘Flexible’? Do you know what that means? It means that if a woman is sufficiently aroused, it prolly ain’t gonna break. (wow do you think this myth has anything to do with the lack of knowledge we’re taught about female arousal???)
I mean dude you can shove a baby outta that thing and it returns to its original shape, you can’t tell if a woman is a virgin or not by the state of her hymen anyways. They can tear during exercise n stuff as well but there is literally not much of a reason why sex should be painful for girls and why you call it “popping the cherry”
OH WAIT MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE DUDES LIKE TO THINK THAT THEIR DICK HAS MAGICAL POWERS THAT FOREVER CHANGES A WOMAN’S LIFE AND SHE’S NEVER BE THE SAME AFTER YOU WRECKED THAT TIGHT LIL HOLE.
Well, fun fact, if she’s tight that means you kind of suck balls at the whole sex thing.
This isn’t just a matter of some people making a mistake about how women urinate. This is part of a long history of the suppression of female sexuality to the point that when you get a damn diagram of the vulva, apparently they don’t mark where the urethra is because man we don’t want to spend too much time talking about ladyparts frick who knows what’s hiding down there…

In my own 7th grade health class, and even in goddam 11th and 12th grade highschool biology, they left out female pleasure to such an extent as a thing, that I thought orgasm and penile ejaculation were synonymous.  That orgasm was only a penis-owning thing; that orgasm was when those with penises spewed sperm, not that it was a pleasurable climax, not that it was its own thing, not that people with vaginas could experience them.

You want to know how we were told about the clitoris? Through less than two sentences in seventh grade health class.  “This is the clitoris: it’s like a button and and can get harder”.  That’s it.  That’s it.

Can we talk about how dangerous this is, actually?

Yes. I said dangerous. Not because I’m a girl and I would like sex to be enjoyable thank you, but because we’re teaching women that a men have a right to have sex be enjoyable where we do not.

We’re teaching women that if she is uncomfortable or in pain, that is normal and she has no right to complain.

We’re teaching women to do something because it makes a man happy, regardless of how she feels.

We’re teaching women to be the submissive, receptive partner rather than an active participant.

I didn’t learn about a woman’s arousal or a woman’s orgasm simply because apparently that isn’t important.

It doesn’t matter if a woman is enjoying it.

It doesn’t matter if she likes what you’re doing.

We teach these things in a public setting, and we wonder why youth are legitimately confused about what constitutes rape, and why it is a bad thing that has a profoundly negative and possibly permanent effect on the victim.

I’m a 43 year old cis woman, and I actually learned something I didn’t know about my own anatomy from this post.

THAT IS SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP.

Sex is not about female pleasure. Females do not need to be pleasured in order to reproduce. Sex is for reproduction. A man experiencing pleasure is essential to reproduction because, without it, he will not ejaculate, thereby getting the woman pregnant so she can experience the highest form of womanhood: motherhood. Sex is supposed to hurt, at least the first time because of the sins of Eve. Women continue to pay for the sin of Eve through the pain of menstruation, the pain of giving birth, and through sex. But motherhood is a blessed state and therefore she should tolerate for the sake of bringing another life into the world which is the most beautiful and meaningful thing a woman can do with her life and her body.

Basically, men have been shit at sex since the dawn of time. And instead of focusing in any way on female pleasure, they have made up ridiculous myths about original sin, cherry popping and how virgins are far better than not-virgins.

The best way to keep a woman from knowing that female pleasure exists, much less desiring it, is to keep her from knowing her own body. If you are going to keep her from knowing her own body, and make it a mystery to her (I was told ‘you’ll find out about that on your wedding night’) and a woman demands nothing, than a man has absolutely no incentive to learn about female pleasure. Learning about female pleasure implies learning about female anatomy. Why the hell SHOULD a man (or woman) not know they don’t pee out of their vagina? Hell, most men/women don’t even know that the vagina is NOT the entire sex organ. That the outter lips, etc are NOT the vagina.

It’s HELLA importanntn to know you don’t piss out of your vagina so you can tell the difference between a yeast infection and a urinary tract infection. Which I didn’t find out about until my mid-twenties due to lack of even properly labeled anatomical drawings. Did you know you got three holes there? SURPRISE you have three holes. One of them is your urethra. When THAT shit is burning that is a urinary tract infection. When your vaginal hole is burning, then it is a yeast infection. If you want to rip your labia off due to excessive burning that has come on suddenly, go to the gynecologist, not the PCP.

This isn’t just about female pleasure, though it’d be nice if someone gave a shit about that. Guys sure as hell don’t. This is about actual medical issues. I was 25 before I found out that the pain I had on either side of my uterus was big fuckin’ cysts becuase I had never been to the gynecologist before because I was too embarrassed. Seriously. This shit matters.

And it doesn’t just matter to women* and I am tired of guys going eww gross don’t talk about that stuff. You are a big man who wants to wrestle crocodiles in disgusting typhoid-infested swamp water, I think you can deal hearing about whether my period is a low flow, or if it’s running like niagra falls and that’s why I need to lie here in bed and eat chocolate while I moan in agony and can’t fix your dinner tonight.

You need to know that yes, you can have sex during someone’s period, it won’t break anything. It’ll be messy as hell. Maybe it will relieve her cramping. But maybe it will just make her feel gross and she won’t want to. Do something freakish and talk to your woman*.

Wanna be a hero to a woman? Don’t be a piece of shit about picking up feminine products. When she’s feeling like absolute death, and her hormones are different than the other 3 weeks of the month (actually they’re more like a guy’s hormones when she’s on her period, so maybe that’s why she gets “bitchy” and aggressive—she’s acting like YOU, you little turd) . Understand what TYPE of tampon or pad she wannts you to pick up, and grab her some chocolate and something salty. Know that much about a woman’s cravings during her period to get her something to comfort her, and you will be a hero. She willl remember that shit later and if you wash some dishes too, while she’s not feeling well, she will probably blow you later.

When she talks about cysts or her excrutiating period, or a yeast/urinary tract infection, don’t go EWW don’t talk about that. These are actual things she’s worried about. There’re conditions that happen in that plumbing down there that range from annoying to agnoizing, can make sex painful (i mean, assuming you are being proper partner and are being attentive to her arousal and needs) and can lead to infertility. Many women* worry about this stuff. Or suffer from extreme periods. But we’re told no one wants to hear about it, eww yicky, and it’s the price of original sin, so women* don’t talk about how much pain and suffering our nether reigions put us through.

Comparatively, women have an Asten Martin with what should be finely tuned workings under the hoods, and men have tiny scooters with electric motors. ONE thing gets out of whack and suddenly we start functioning like shit, and there’s usually pain involved. A dude* may haveta fucking pedal for once.

oh yeah, and another thing while I am ranting: that shit you see in pornos? MOST women don’t like doing it. That fucking pearl necklace shit? You come near my neck with your dick and i”m going to bite your balls.

If you, as a man*, do not understand female anatomy* and female pleasure zones, YOU are doing it wrong. Women PUT UP with having sex with you. They don’t actually fucking enjoy it. While you’re taking a piss, they’re probably finishing themselves off.

And if YOU as a man, don’t know that if she hasn’t had sex in a while, she needs extra foreplay and her hyman stretched so it doesn’t fucking hurt, then you have failed at life and women only have sex with you out of pity or because THEY don’t know that sex is not supposed to hurt.

So YES, it’s kind of a big fucking deal that no one knows where the hell the pee-hole is. Because it’s endemic of a MUCH larger problem. But what the fuck do you care? you’re getting your rocks off while holding on to boobs instead of a fleshlight.

*not all women have vaginas, not all men have penises, my comments are primarily directed to cis het dudebros ignoring the plumbing and function of those with vaginas. individual milage may vary, tax and title due at signing.

I know I’ve reblogged this before but that new commentary. 

Fucking. Preach.

Bless this post. And to be fair, a good guy who doesn’t know what’s going on down there should ask you to show him around, which results in much more happiness for both parties.

reblogged 2 days ago
26 Jul 2014 156,531 notes

asheydoo55:

mymindpalaceisatardis:

joyfulldreams:

inuysha-link-lover:

algrenion:

i think there should be AU’s and then there should be UA’s

because Universe Alterations would be a good name for when your characters are in the exact same universe but you’re altering just a couple of plot points or a few character traits

image

EVERYONE WE ALL NEED TO MAKE THIS A THING

GOD THIS WOULD MAKE SHIT SO MUCH EASIER

so basically all shipping fics

BLESS YOU AMAZING OP

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reblogged 2 days ago
26 Jul 2014 25,602 notes

thehpalliance:

"… and to you, if you have stuck with Harry until the very end."

Here’s to book seven. Here’s to the years of anticipation before it and the years of discussion in its wake. Here’s to the boy who lived and how he changed everything.

And here’s to you, if you know that “the very end” isn’t happening anytime soon.

We are book eight.

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reblogged 2 days ago
26 Jul 2014 5,287 notes

Suddenly, I’m Mr. Sex.

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reblogged 2 days ago
26 Jul 2014 1,691 notes

COLOUR MEME
9th Doctor + complementary colours requested by carahmason

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reblogged 2 days ago
26 Jul 2014 612,629 notes

cindersk:

rolandofeld:

The sass is strong in Disney.

The truly magical moments of Disney.

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reblogged 2 days ago
26 Jul 2014 379,788 notes

thenerdybrit:

whiskeyfortheway:

sriusblcks:

#Viktor was obviously deeply in love with her #just remember the fact that he took her to prom #even knowing that he could’ve choose any other girl #remember how he forgot about everyone and danced with her all night #remember how he looked at her while saying ‘write to me, please’ #remember how, a few years later #on Fleur’s wedding #he danced with her one more time #probably being conscient that her heart already belonged to Ron #this is why I love Viktor Krum so much #he just enjoyed being with Hermione #and didn’t care about the future #mostly, because she wasn’t going to be a part of his.

.

reblogging because krum is extremely underrated

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reblogged 2 days ago
26 Jul 2014 1,514 notes

The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.

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reblogged 2 days ago
26 Jul 2014 99,283 notes

booksandwildthings:

satanmoriarty:

dizpotter:

CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS?

I mean, can we just talk about how this parallels the actual education system?  Where they’re so concerned about teaching us things like logarithms and graphing that we don’t know shit about what’s actually out there in the adult world, like doing taxes or writing checks or anything?  I mean, “It is the view of the Ministry that a theoretical knowledge will be sufficient to get you through your examinations, which after all, is what school is all about.”  School children are often under the impression that getting A’s in all their classes ensures a successful future, but really, it’s so ignorant because the real world isn’t just one big question-and-answer paper.  There is so much more to the world than being able to give back information like some kind of super-computer, and brainwashing children into thinking that theory is key is just going to lead to a bunch of children falling flat on their faces when they’re pushed into the adult world and feel as if everything new they try to do is wrong because it wasn’t taught to them step-by-step.  I just really love Harry’s line, “And how is theory supposed to prepare us for what’s out there?” because I feel as if sometimes we just learn things for the sake of knowing them, despite whether it is actually useful. Yes, school is important, and getting bad grades isn’t a good way to start your future, but it’s so much more than that, you see.

this sounds a lot like something Hermione would say

I think that’s the reason why everyone has such strong negative feelings toward Umbridge (as a person, not a character). I can’t tell you how many times I heard people say that they wanted Umbridge to die more than Voldemort. And I must say that I feel the same.

Voldemort is a racist dictator. While these have existed, and still do, the majority of us don’t live under such a tyrant. We’ve heard about them in history books and on the news- but they’re already dead or on the other side of the world. While we can be horrified at the terror such a person can spread and how, well, evil they can be, a character of this archetype doesn’t strike a personal chord with most of us.

But Umbridge does. As stated before, she represents everything that we hate about the public school system. Most of us know or have a teacher, professor, principal, or school administrator who, to probably a lesser degree, personifies what Umbridge is saying. They teach only to the test, or tell teachers to do so, they insist on including useless things in their curriculums, they PASS LAWS SO THAT SUCH A SCHOOL SYSTEM CAN CONTINUE. This is something that affects nearly every public school in the US, (and I’m guessing the UK as well). Nearly every student has to go through school learning things that they will never use in real life and that in no way prepare them for the real world, just so the various boards of education can use the higher test scores as ‘proof’ that we’re ‘smarter’ than other states, countries, etc., and therefore deserve more funding.

We hate Umbridge so much (again, as a person, not a character) because she represents a villain we all have in our own lives. Possibly every single person who has read this book can connect with the frustration Harry and the other students feel.

We hate Umbridge so much because everything she is, everything she represents, is very real and very personal to every single one of us.

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